Of Emmys and other disgusting things.
Ok, I’ll admit it. I did something of which I am totally ashamed. It was something that I swear I have rarely ever done before and I haven’t done it for years. I am embarrassed and humiliated that it happened and wish to apologize to everyone reading in advance for detailing just what I did that was so disgusting.
I watched the Emmys!
I know, I know, you are probably so shocked and disgusted with me right now that I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped reading and never took your precious time to read my writing again. I understand. It was that bad.
Like a ‘sick humor drug’ it hooked me in with the opening song and dance number by Conan O’Brien and after that I just couldn’t stop. It wasn’t the actors' pretty faces that kept me entranced nor the allure of designer dresses that kept me watching. It was the perennial search for the tell-tale signs of political correctness.
And, yes, I found what I was looking for, but first the most glaring bit of outright ridiculous lying of the evening. It was so outrageous that I just have to include it. When Candice Bergen was rolled out on stage to introduce the segment honoring Aaron Spelling she actually said,
“There’s more to see and more worth seeing on television than ever before.”
AND SHE SAID IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE! She must not have thought she was talking to anyone over the age of 16 because anyone with two decades to rub together could easily contradict her. Television may have “more to see”, but it definitely doesn’t have “more worth seeing." (Note to Candice: Don’t open your remarks again with jokes about the Food Channel when you’re wearing what looks like an outfit stolen from a FAT gypsy woman and it looks SKIN TIGHT on you!)
Bill Maher hasn’t been on my list of respectable people since he remarked that he thought the terrorists that flew the planes on 9-11 weren’t cowards but that they were BRAVE for what they did.
But RATS, now I’d have to take this opportunity to thank him. When his show was nominated for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program, he was nice enough to replace the photos of his loony leftist liberal writers with people like Tony Snow, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Newt Gingrich and Bill O’Reilly. Thank you Mr. Maher, I’d much rather have seen the faces of the reasonable and sane than the dopes that feed you such inane tripe for your commentary!
Unfortunately the egotist DID put his own picture in place of the last writer named Scott Carter. Poor Scott Carter and poor ME for ever having to see Maher's face!
One of the most telling moments of the evening came when Steven Colbert and John Stewart entered to award the Emmy for Best Reality/Competition Program.
Colbert's first remarks were, “Good evening Godless Sodomites.” When asked by Stewart what he was doing he replied, “I’m bringing the truth John. We’re in Hollywood, the belly of the beast.”
Of course all this banter brought out the requisite nervous laugher from the audience but I got the distinct feeling that some were taken aback by this, although tongue-in-cheek, accurate assessment.
Talking of their television category Colbert stated flatly, “It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.” (More laughter, disproportionately too loud and long for the joke.)
Finally when Stewart said, “We’re here to honor achievement in that category”, Colbert wound up his exaggerated caricature of a traveling evangelist by shouting at the top of his lungs, “By giving you a golden idol to worship! Kneel before your god Babylon!”
Ha, Ha, He, He, Snicker, Snicker. Yes, yes very funny. I guess the easiest way to deflect your guilt is to laugh at it and make jokes that deride those pointing the finger at you. To me his remarks were dead on. It’s just that his audience couldn’t (or wouldn’t) ever admit it. Topping it all off and hammering the point home, that Colbert was the unstable one, he finally broke down crying and whimpering about loosing his Emmy nomination to Barry Manillow.
The only exhibit of restrained class was shown by Edie Falco and James Gandofini. Without making any judgments or political posturing they simply wished our troops well and hoped that they would return home safely.
I’d like to think they kept the partisanship out of their statements of their own accord but they might have been frightened by something that Conan O’Brien said earlier.
I missed getting it on my DVR but it was something to the effect that anyone making political statements would be forced to ‘make out’ with Al Gore in the back of a Prius.
That was it. Throw in a few jabs at the Fox Channel and you get the Emmys!
I watched the Emmys!
I know, I know, you are probably so shocked and disgusted with me right now that I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped reading and never took your precious time to read my writing again. I understand. It was that bad.
Like a ‘sick humor drug’ it hooked me in with the opening song and dance number by Conan O’Brien and after that I just couldn’t stop. It wasn’t the actors' pretty faces that kept me entranced nor the allure of designer dresses that kept me watching. It was the perennial search for the tell-tale signs of political correctness.
And, yes, I found what I was looking for, but first the most glaring bit of outright ridiculous lying of the evening. It was so outrageous that I just have to include it. When Candice Bergen was rolled out on stage to introduce the segment honoring Aaron Spelling she actually said,
“There’s more to see and more worth seeing on television than ever before.”
AND SHE SAID IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE! She must not have thought she was talking to anyone over the age of 16 because anyone with two decades to rub together could easily contradict her. Television may have “more to see”, but it definitely doesn’t have “more worth seeing." (Note to Candice: Don’t open your remarks again with jokes about the Food Channel when you’re wearing what looks like an outfit stolen from a FAT gypsy woman and it looks SKIN TIGHT on you!)
Bill Maher hasn’t been on my list of respectable people since he remarked that he thought the terrorists that flew the planes on 9-11 weren’t cowards but that they were BRAVE for what they did.
But RATS, now I’d have to take this opportunity to thank him. When his show was nominated for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program, he was nice enough to replace the photos of his loony leftist liberal writers with people like Tony Snow, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Newt Gingrich and Bill O’Reilly. Thank you Mr. Maher, I’d much rather have seen the faces of the reasonable and sane than the dopes that feed you such inane tripe for your commentary!
Unfortunately the egotist DID put his own picture in place of the last writer named Scott Carter. Poor Scott Carter and poor ME for ever having to see Maher's face!
One of the most telling moments of the evening came when Steven Colbert and John Stewart entered to award the Emmy for Best Reality/Competition Program.
Colbert's first remarks were, “Good evening Godless Sodomites.” When asked by Stewart what he was doing he replied, “I’m bringing the truth John. We’re in Hollywood, the belly of the beast.”
Of course all this banter brought out the requisite nervous laugher from the audience but I got the distinct feeling that some were taken aback by this, although tongue-in-cheek, accurate assessment.
Talking of their television category Colbert stated flatly, “It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.” (More laughter, disproportionately too loud and long for the joke.)
Finally when Stewart said, “We’re here to honor achievement in that category”, Colbert wound up his exaggerated caricature of a traveling evangelist by shouting at the top of his lungs, “By giving you a golden idol to worship! Kneel before your god Babylon!”
Ha, Ha, He, He, Snicker, Snicker. Yes, yes very funny. I guess the easiest way to deflect your guilt is to laugh at it and make jokes that deride those pointing the finger at you. To me his remarks were dead on. It’s just that his audience couldn’t (or wouldn’t) ever admit it. Topping it all off and hammering the point home, that Colbert was the unstable one, he finally broke down crying and whimpering about loosing his Emmy nomination to Barry Manillow.
The only exhibit of restrained class was shown by Edie Falco and James Gandofini. Without making any judgments or political posturing they simply wished our troops well and hoped that they would return home safely.
I’d like to think they kept the partisanship out of their statements of their own accord but they might have been frightened by something that Conan O’Brien said earlier.
I missed getting it on my DVR but it was something to the effect that anyone making political statements would be forced to ‘make out’ with Al Gore in the back of a Prius.
That was it. Throw in a few jabs at the Fox Channel and you get the Emmys!
posted by Richard Ammons at 7:07 PM
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